Gracie: (I need to go out.)
Me: (Here we go.) “You need to go out? Or are you just irritated, and you accidentally scraped your claws against the door?”
Gracie: (I need to go out.)
Me: “Go out then, go pee-pee, stay out.”
2 minutes later.
Gracie (frantic) : (I need to come in. I need to come in. I need to come in right now. Right now I need to come in.)
Me: “Good God, Gracie. What is wrong with you? It’s perfect out there, almost sylvan, the morning sunlight filtering through the trees, beaming through the humidity in the cool air, and you NEED TO COME IN? Ya just went out 2 minutes ago. Jeesh.”
Gracie: (Why are you so mean?)
Me: “Because you get stupid when you’re anxious, and you’re anxious a lot. I don’t mind letting you out, and I don’t mind letting you in. Just give me half an hour in between, rather than 2 freaking minutes!”
Gracie: (You don’t have to be so mean all the time.)
Me: “Shut up.”
Two minutes later.
Gracie (scraping her front paws on door) : (I’m irritated.)
Me: “I know you don’t really want to go out. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you haven’t had a you-know-what all night. You’re having trouble getting me to stop ignoring you, so you want me on my feet, then you lead me to the kitchen, to where the chips are.”
Gracie: (You said “chips.”)
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